Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
