Duck Duck Cougar?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
