I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
