Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
