I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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