she was so not down for the gang bang
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
