i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
