Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
