my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
