ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
