3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
