I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
we're so committed to being not committed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
