hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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