I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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