Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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