that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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