Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
