Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
