I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I still have a little drunk in my system
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
