'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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