I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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