I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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