She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
