just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
17 year olds will be the death of me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
