They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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