you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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