I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
