sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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