I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
