Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
