Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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