did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
