if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
