Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
