i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
