You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
