a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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