I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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