all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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