His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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