i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
