He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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