return my video game
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
