It was confusing and full of hummus
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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