Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
