sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
