We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
