Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
