similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
