So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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